How Do I Move On?

Nine years ago yesterday my husband and I went on our first date. I can tell you vivid details of that night – from what we each wore to what we ate at the restaurant to the hockey game we attended to the movie we watched in his dorm room afterwards. It was the longest date either of us had ever been on, because neither of us wanted it to end. After the movie we talked for hours about everything and nothing all at the same time. That night is burned into my brain; it is the night I began falling in love with him, the night I knew I would someday marry him.

How do I move on with all these memories of the last nine years rolling around in my head? How do I move on when I have no understanding of how things got to this point – when I had no idea things were at this point until my husband revealed his affair. How do I move on without any answers (because I have tried, he can give me none – all he says to everything I ask is “I don’t know” or “I don’t have an answer for that”)? How do I move on as if this life never existed? My husband has moved on, acting as though everything is normal. Please, someone, tell me how to move on!