End of a Journey

365 days ago I started this blog. Wow, what a difference 365 days makes!

For those who have been looking for an update:

• Mr. Ex and I closed on the house on August 13th. As of now final bills are still coming in that we have to split, but that should all be done in the next few days and then we will have no reason to ever speak again.

• I got all settled in at the new place and am now teaching kindergarten in a great school district.

• Things with New Guy are amazing!! Unless you go back and read every post that I made over the past 365 days I’ll bet you’d never guess the unexpected journey that I took in life. The odd thing about it, in a way it was all worth it because it got me here to the life I have today. I could ramble on about this, but there's not need for that when a song can say it better. I give you Here by Rascal Flatts.

We Got An Offer!!!

We got an offer on the house today – praise God!!! We got less than what we were asking but truthfully, I am just so glad to be rid of the burden (and Mr. Ex) that I do not care. The buyer has 7 days to do have her inspection done but considering the house is only 4 years old I wouldn’t think there would be any issues there. We are supposed to close by August 20th, which is awesome. Please pray that all goes well and that FINALLY I can complete this chapter of my life and never look back!

D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D!!!!

Well, it’s official… I am divorced, WOO HOO!!! This day has been such a long time coming; in fact it was exactly nine months ago that I started this blog. Looking back at that first post I am astonished at where I was and how far I have come. I feel in a way that I have come into my own – I know who I am and what I want; I am strong and unstoppable and am confident in the person that I am. What a trying journey this has been but I truly thank God each and every day that this was my path… what amazing wisdom! I feel as though I am a testament to the fact that no matter how dark and daunting things feel in the beginning, no matter how deep the hole, you CAN climb out of it!

I can think of no better way to sum up this journey than with a song (really, would you expect anything else from me, lol!?) I give you Undo It by Carrie Underwood…

St. Joseph

We have had no nibbles on the house – not a one! In fact, we didn’t have a single person through at the open house on Sunday. I am feeling super frustrated, one because we have now dropped the price $20,000 and two because the place is so cute and I can’t understand why someone isn’t grabbing it up (I realize I am probably a bit bias on that point ). So, on the advice of several coworkers I bought a statue of St. Joseph and buried it in the front yard – upside down and facing the house, just as directed. Not being Catholic I am not entirely sure that I am a full believer in the power of St. Joseph, but I figure it can’t hurt!

Please, please, please keep praying that the house sells soon. Moving day for me is fast approaching (June 12th) and I would really like to leave here without any ties to the past!

Sign On the Line

Well, my friends, a day we never thought would arrive has finally come… Divorce papers have been signed by both me and Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex! According to my attorney, the name change is immediate and I can once again consider my maiden name to be my legal name. The divorce itself will be official once the papers are filed with the court, which will happen by Friday at the latest! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Please Say a Prayer

Okay, I know I said I wasn't going to post anymore, BUT...we have a house showing Friday at 4:15. Please say a prayer that our house will be the perfect match for the people coming to look at it and that they will put in an offer!

No Longer In Shards

When I started this blog nine months ago, I felt as though an explosion had rocked my world leaving shards of my life strew in every direction. As I wrote each new blog entry I was trying desperately to sift through the ash of truth and lies, trying frantically to put the shards of my broken life back together just as they had been. As I sit her now I am whole and I am okay. My life is no longer in shards – it’s fully put back together in a way that is much different, and a million times better, than it ever was before the explosion.

At one point, when I began walking down a new path in life which was different than the one which I had originally planned, I toyed with the idea of ending this blog. But, at the time I felt called to continue to write. However, I have now reached a point where I know it is time to put my keyboard away, at least for a little while. I plan to leave this blog active in hopes that others who are (or will be) going through a situation like mine can know that they are not alone and realize that there is light and a much happier life in the end, it’s just that I won’t be writing many new entries except to tell you once the house sells or the divorce is finalized.

I want to thank each of you for helping me along this journey. Thank you for your prayers and thoughtful comments. To those who know me personally, thank you for your listening ears, crying shoulders and for being strong when I could not. Without you, I know I would not have made it to this new and happy place that I have found.

And now, in the spirit of Sunday, I give you my very last Sassy Song – History in the Making by Darius Rucker.

Sassy Song Sunday: Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield

On Sunday nights, as I make the 2.5 hour drive home from visiting New Guy I find myself doing A LOT of station scanning as I listen to the radio, as there are never any good songs on late at night. The problem in doing this is that I usually only hear parts of songs I like. Tonight’s sassy song, Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield, relates to my life in no way other than the fact that I only heard the tail end of it as I drove home and I wanted to hear it in it’s entirety. 80’s music rules!

Nothing New to Say

I haven’t written about the divorce because, sadly, there is nothing new to say. We are both still living in the house, which will be the case until it sells or the school year ends and I move (which still paying my half of the mortgage on a house that I no longer live in). He and his attorney refuse to finalize the divorce until the house sells. We have our pretrial conference (required by Iowa law) at the end of May and then the trial at the end of June; however, if the house hasn’t sold by then these dates will likely be pushed back. Please pray that the house sells soon!

Sassy Song Sunday: Falling For You by Colbie Caillat

Today’s song is Falling For You by Colbie Caillat. This song is one of my favorites; in fact, it plays every time New Guy calls me! :o)

Busy, Busy, Busy!

Just a quick post to let you know all is well. It’s a super busy week for me at work – field trip, open house night, and a birthday celebration I am in charge of brining all the treats for!

No news on the house – a few walk throughs, but no offers as of yet… please keep praying that it sells before June.

Kindergarten Here I Come!

I found out this afternoon that I will be teaching kindergarten next year. I taught kindergarten my very first year of teaching (seven years ago) and loved it. But, I have to say it is A LOT of work and I’ve really been enjoying first grade (and second grade before that). Needless to say, I am a little nervous... good thing I have all summer to prepare!

Witty Words Wednesday #12

The Road Not Taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Sell This House!

Now that I am officially moving forward with my new life (yay!!!) and know that I will be relocating at the end of the school year because I got the new job, my focus is now on selling the house. It’s been on the market for a month now and several people have gone through it, but we haven’t gotten any offers. I realize a month isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things, but when you consider that our house before this one sold in seven days, a month seems like an eternity! It’s a great house… three bedrooms, two baths, custom-built theater room, corner lot, brick patio with gas fire pit, professionally landscaped. I know it’s the perfect house for someone; we just need the right buyers to come our way. Please, please pray that they will find their way here to their new home soon!

Here are some pictures of the outside (pardon the brown... still waiting for the spring bloom to begin!)

The Wait is Over

It’s safe to say that I was a nervous wreck for the first several days of this week, waiting to hear from the school district that I was hoping to get a job at. Although I had tried hard to put it in God’s hands and trust that if I was supposed to get the job I would, I was really feeling the pressure of the fact that my whole life seemed to be hinging on this one decision. Well, I got a call on Tuesday evening and the wait was finally over… I GOT THE JOB!!!

I am beyond thrilled and feel so very blessed! The funny thing is, I do have some sadness too. I adore my school – I love teaching first grade and the staff that I work with is phenomenal. A year ago you could not have paid me enough to teach anywhere else and had you asked me then I would have told you that I had every intention of working there for the rest of my teaching career. However, I do not think I could have stayed here with all the memories of the past year. I feel strongly that I need to close this chapter of my life, so to speak, and start over fresh and that is exactly what I am going to do.

Sassy Song Sunday: I Look So Good (Without You) by Jessie James

Todays sassy song is I Look So Good (Without You) by Jessie James. My words to Soon-to-be Mr. Ex, indeed!

The Observation

Well, as you all know I had my observation today. I have to admit I was feeling okay until I actually walked into school and then suddenly I was a ball of nervous. But then, when as I stepped into my classroom I saw a beautiful pot of roses sitting on my desk, with a note from a coworker wishing me good luck ~ it made my day! (Thank you, Debbie!) Once my students arrived I relaxed a little as we got into the swing of our day.

The elementary principal and curriculum coordinator arrived around 9:10 (earlier than I was anticipating – that means they had to have left at 6:00AM at the very latest… wow!) and they left at a quarter to 10:00. All they ended up seeing was guided reading, which I was kind of disappointed about because I had some other really cool things planned which I was hoping they would see. Had I known they wouldn’t be staying until lunch I would have only met with two of my reading groups, then done my working with words and writing lessons and then finished reading after they left. But, they did say the wanted to see my “regular day”, so I guess they did! I also printed off my lesson plan for the whole day and also gave them a copy of my weekly schedule, so at least they were able to see what else I had planned. I felt like I did some really good teaching and my students were awesome – showed how smart they are and were so well behaved, bless their hearts! When they were leaving I thanked them for making the long trip over and asked about their timeline. They said that they hope to have a decision made by the end of the month, so optimistically I will know something by this time next week.

It is in God’s hands – I did my best and if I am supposed to get the job then I will.

Cog Train Ride up Pikes Peak

The coolest thing New Guy and I did in Colorado was take a cog train ride up Pikes Peak. Talk about a view – wow!

Garden of the Gods

One of the most amazing places we visited while in Colorado was Garden of the Gods; it was truly breathtaking. I will let the pictures speak for themselves…

Meeting New Guy's Sister

I am back from vacation ~ the trip was amazing! I am by no means a nature girl at heart but I must admit that Colorado is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been – a place full of breathtaking and awe-inspiring views. I will elaborate more on that and tell of some of the places we visited in the coming days, but before I get to that I’ll fill you in on what I had been so worried about… meeting New Guy’s sister. Let me preface this by saying that the reason I had been so nervous was because he is probably closer to her than anyone else in his family so it was very important to me that she and I hit it off. Plus, speaking from experience I know that I have not always been the nicest to all of my brother’s girlfriends and I was a little concerned that this might be one of those “what goes around comes around” situations. Thankfully, however, she and I really hit is off; in fact, I would say she is hands-down my favorite of all of his relatives and I cannot wait to see her an her family again!

Update: Interview

For those of you not familiar with the teacher interview process, many schools will ask you to teach a demo lesson with a small group of students that they select in order to see you "in action". This particular district; however, prefers to do “site visits” where they actually go to the school(s) of their final candidates and observe them teaching in their own environment. Well, I got a call around 2:30 this afternoon from the elementary principal saying that I am one of their final candidates and they would like to come on Thursday, March 25th to observe me! I am a little surprised that they would drive three hours (one way) just to watch me teach… I guess I’m really not a good reader of people!

Interview

I just got back from my interview. I felt I did well, but I don’t necessarily have that “nailed it” feeling that I have had after other interviews where I have gotten the job. Interviewing me were the elementary principal as well as the district curriculum director. I got the vibe that the curriculum director wasn’t into me, but that could have just been her personality, who knows. Actually, when I interviewed for my current teaching job I got the same vibe from one of the elementary principals and it turned out to be false. (Maybe that just means I am not good at reading people!) Anyway, after the building tour and then formal interview (question/answer) I had to do a writing test where I was given a scenario and I had to describe what I would do. I knew that this was going to happen and had assumed that it would be done on the computer – WRONG! They actually handed me a tablet and a pen and I had to handwrite my response. Yikes - pretty terrifying for a horrible speller like me! I tried to use “little words” that I couldn’t misspell, lol!

Thank you so much for all of the well wishes, thoughts, and prayers. I did my best and really it will come down to whether they think I am a good fit for their school or not. I am putting it in God’s hands and know that if I am supposed to get the job, then I will. They said they hope to have someone hired by the end of the month (like me, they are also on spring break next week) so I will let you all know when I hear something.

Bon Voyage

I am going to be taking some time off from blogging next week… I am going on a vacation! That’s right, in seven years of teaching I have never gone anywhere or done anything special for my week-long spring break until now; New Guy and I are headed to Colorado to visit his sister and her family. We are driving out on Saturday the 13th and coming back on the 20th. If you’ll remember, one of my goals for my 30th year was to do some traveling and what a bonus, I’ve never been to Colorado ~ yay!! I am really excited, but I must admit secretly I am also kind of nervous wondering if his sister will like me.

Witty Words Wednesday #11

"Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow."

~ Dan Rather

Not the Boots!

One of my sexy black boots broke! Not just a little break, but a full-on snap off that cannot be repaired (not even with hot glue ~ a teacher’s BFF). Oh, woe is me!

Glimmer of Hope

I got a call this weekend… I have an interview at 9:00AM on Friday morning for a teaching job in a school district in the area where I would like to live. I know it’s just an interview and I don’t want to get my hopes up too high – it’s a long shot, at best considering my years of experience and level of education = more money they will have to pay me. However, after the week I previously had, even getting an interview is an amazing glimmer of hope, plus I figure if nothing else it will help me refresh my interviewing skills. Keep your fingers crossed!

Sassy Song Sunday: The Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets

This past week has been one of the more difficult I’ve had in awhile. I’m struggling with the fact that there is so much going on that I have no control over. I’m trying to trust that everything will work itself out exactly the way it’s supposed to be, but it’s hard. The first time I heard this song I connected with it and could actually imagine my friend Anita sitting me down and saying it to me (or in her case, sending it to me in an email similar to the one that she sent me yesterday). Today’s song is The Words I Would Say by Sidewalk Prophets.

Stress, Worry, & Anxiety

Stressed.

Worried.

Anxious.

These words describe a lot of the ways I feel lately.

I am stressed about life with CANNOT-BE-SOON-ENOUGH Mr. Ex and the fact that our divorce has taken an extremely ugly turn and will likely not be settled out of court.

I am worried about the job market. I have gone back and forth for some time trying to decide if I would stay here next year (as in 2010-2011 school year) or not. I love my job ~ my school is fabulous and my coworkers are amazing, but the truth is my job is really all that is keeping me here and it’s no big secret that I didn’t really want to move here in the first place, having only done so for CANNOT-BE-SOON-ENOUGH Mr. Ex and his career. I want to be closer to my family. I would like to move back to the town where we previously lived - the town where I went to college; the town where both of my brothers (and New Guy) live. But teaching jobs are hard to come by right now (even in the metro area) and I am actually having some regret about getting my masters – as a teacher a masters degree, coupled with seven years of experience, actually hurts you when looking for a new job.

I am anxious about our house being on the market. I want it to sell… but not before the school year is over because if I do plan on moving and the house sells quickly, where am I going to live for a month (or two)? In that same breath, even it comes June and the house hasn’t sold yet and I plan to move away, I am still going to have to pay my half of the mortgage – plus rent at a new place.

Stressed.

Worried.

Anxious.

These words describe a lot of the ways I feel lately.

Witty Words Wednesday #10

“People almost always divorce somebody different than they marry.”

~ Dr. Phil

Nowhere on the Horizon

Do you suppose the term “civilized divorce” is an oxymoron - kind of like civilized warfare, a fine mess, or equal justice? I am certainly beginning to think so! Despite the fact that CANNOT-BE-SOON-ENOUGH Mr. Ex and I composed the decree (which my attorney then wrote up) together prior to it going to either of our attorneys he did not agree to it. Not only did he not agree to what we wrote together, he is now going back on all of those things and actually had the nerve to say that I “tricked” him into agreeing the first time. I am sad to report that the finality of my marriage looks to be nowhere on the horizon.

Sassy Song Sunday: Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects

Today’s song is Gives You Hell by The All-American Rejects. Living with Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex is getting more and more exasperating (as if that weren’t obvious by my recent posts). However, trying to be an optimist (while staying true to the passive-aggressive girl that I am, LOL ~ at least I can admit it) I have chosen to embrace this song as my new anthem of sorts.

The Thin Line between Love and Hate

I have often heard people say that there is a thin line between love and hate but I never really understood what that meant until now. It was six months and two days ago when this journey began. Besides being utterly shell-shocked, I can honestly say that when I started this blog I was truly in love with Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex and wanted more than anything to make our marriage work. I remember all the times I sat, tears streaming down my face, blogging my heart out about these feelings and pleading with all of you to pray that he and I would find our way back to each other. Now, I don’t even know that person whom I used to be. In fact, sitting here now I am actually wondering - what the hell was I thinking?

I no longer see whatever it was that originally attracted me to Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex. He is truly like some kind of alien. He no longer acts like the person I knew. He speaks differently, he looks differently, and he even likes things which are polar opposite of things he used to like. In fact, some of the things he now likes are things that he once mocked (case in point, you should see the house that he recently bought in the town were he works!). The funny thing is I can deal with all of this because in all honesty it does nothing but solidifies the fact that the demise of our marriage was the BEST thing that has ever happened to me. (Praise God for His infinite wisdom!)

The thing I can’t deal with; however, is how ass-ish (yes, I just made up that word) Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex has become. He has yet to take responsibility for his actions, he has little regard for anyone but himself, and he is one of the most stubborn individuals I have ever met. I swear, he knows how to get under my skin and I truly believe that he goes out of his way to do those things. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING!?!?!

Witty Words Wednesday #9

"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

OUCH!!

I am a klutz, plain and simple. Last Monday evening (President’s Day), after a wonderful three-day weekend, I slipped on my socked feet and fell down New Guy’s stairs. To his credit, New Guy came running to my aid and found me sprawled on the stairs half laughing at my clumsiness and half tearing up in pain. Unlike my usual falls (and trust me, I fall often), the pain in my bum did not get better and in fact, it’s still pretty consistent. My vast research (thank you Web MD) has led me to believe that I have either severely bruised, or even worse - actually broken my tailbone. I have tried icing my bum, as well as sitting on one of those donut things. Both help a little, but not tremendously. The absolute worst pain is when I go from a sitting to standing position – OUCH!! Who knew turning 30 would be so hard on my body?

Unannounced Hiatus

I apologize for my unannounced hiatus this past week ~ not to worry, all is well! I have been busy this past week with some family issues, as well as report card writing. Here are some updates on the major facet of my life:

New Guy
Things with New Guy are going great! We continue to see each other every weekend and, I have to say the roughly 48 hours that we are together goes by much too fast. I could go on and on about what a great guy he is, but I don’t want to embarrass him. I will say this ~ he truly is an amazingly wonderful man who treats me in a way which I have never been treated. I am so thankful for everything that has happened which brought me to this point and feel blessed that New Guy came into my life.

Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex
A proposed final divorce decree was drafted by my attorney and sent to Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex’s attorney on Friday, February 12th. If he and his attorney agree then they sign it and return it to my attorney; he and I sign it and then in a nutshell it’s done. At this point we are still waiting to hear. I did ask Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex what the status was earlier tonight and he indicated that he had not yet been contacted by his attorney. In other news, we have started packing up the house with the hopes of getting it on the market by March 1st (which is also the new date I am hoping to be divorced by, lol!).

Sassy Song Sunday: According to You by Orianthi

This is not the song I had originally planned to post today; in fact, I had intended to post a sweet little love song for Valentine’s Day. However, after the week I have had with Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex I decided to save the love song and post this one instead. Today’s song is According to You by Orianthi. I feel like this song describes how Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex (the “You” in this song) and New Guy (the “Him” in this song) each see me. Thanks, Cortney, for sending it to me!

Witty Words Wednesday #8

“Were it not for hope the heart would break.”

~ Scottish Proverb

Meet the Parents

On Saturday I met New Guy’s parents, along with his brother and niece. I have to admit that I was pretty nervous meeting them, but truly they were the sweetest people. They were warm and engaging and it was obvious that they are a family that truly cares about one another. In some ways, they reminded me of my own family. When they left, his dad said to me, “Take good care of ‘New Guy’ but don’t feed him too much” (I love cooking and adore doing it for him ~ he has told his parents what a good cook I am). Before leaving his mom gave me a hug; yes, a hug! This is a really big deal to me, as I am a big hugger and in nine years of knowing me Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex’s mother never once gave me a hug - not even on my wedding day. As cheesy as it sounds, when New Guy’s mom hugged me it nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Sassy Song Sunday: Just Another Day in Paradise by Phil Vassar

Last weekend, when we were on our way to see Everclear, I was texting back and forth with one of my best friends, and former college roommates, Allison. I was telling her we were on our way to the concert and that I wished she was with us, as I knew we would be have so much fun. She texted back that she wished she was there too and that her “fun Friday night” involved going to Wal-Mart with her three-year-old to choose a gift for the birthday party she would be attending the next day. My text back to here was, “I would love to be doing that right now!” To which she responded, “I know, and I know someday you will.” It reminded me that back in college we went to a Phil Vassar concert and one of my favorite songs of his was Just Another Day in Paradise. I used to say that it described the life that I wanted… I guess I still feel that way.


Phil Vassar - Just Another Day In Paradise (Official Music Video) - Watch more top selected videos about: Phil_Vassar

Super Human Strength

Every Tuesday my friend Julie and I have Girl’s Night, which generally (okay, always) involves wine. This week there was an “incident” when I opened the wine bottle, which clearly reveals my amazing super human strength…





Yep, I did all of that with a wine opener! And what are two gals to do, we clearly had to drink the whole bottle (never mind that it was the second one of the night) because there was no way to recork it. Fun times!

Witty Words Wednesday #7

“Sometimes God uses the pruning sheers, and sometimes He uses the chainsaw… I guess I needed the chainsaw this time.”

~ Anonymous

(Thanks, Paparazzimom, for sharing this!)

Tears of an Unknown Origin

Today I had a breakdown ~ my first in a very, very long time…

After school we had a baby shower for a coworker who is expecting her first child. As I sat there, watching her open her gifts, seeing our colleagues cut off pieces of string to match the size of her baby belly, and hearing that she and her hubby have chosen “my” baby name as the middle name for their new baby girl, an overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me. I actually had to get up and leave the room. I walked into my own classroom and sobbed, and the funny thing is I am not even sure why. When this ordeal began, I worried that I would never get remarried - that I would never have kids. If I still felt that way, my tears would make since; however, I honestly no longer have those worries. I am so happy about where my life is and the path that I am on and truly would hate to live out the dreams of babies and forever with Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex; yet that didn’t stop the tears from flowing. As I stood in my classroom crying, in walked my wonderful teammate (shout-out to you, Jan) who had left the shower to come check on me. As I hugged her, sobbing and babbling about how stupid I felt about crying she explained that I was going to have moments like this now that “the end” is near and that it was okay. As I think about it, I know she is right. Although I am so ready to close this chapter of my life, it’s odd to think that it will be over soon.

Dare I Say It?

In the state where I live there is a 90-day waiting period before couples can get a divorce. Our 90 days came and went in December. Why? Simply put, Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex and I could not agree on a settlement. The result of this was we were given a trial date of June. If we were able to settle before then we would, otherwise our divorce would go to trial and the settlement would be determined by a judge. Neither of us had a desire to drag thing out until June, yet we were unable to come to an agreement despite the number of times we tried to work things out. Tonight, however, we made a lot of progress and have come to a tentative settlement, which we typed up. We are both calling our attorneys tomorrow. Dare I say it? Is it possible that the official finality to our marriage is finally on the horizon? Hmmm… is it wrong to have a personal goal of being officially divorced by Valentine’s Day?

Sassy Song Sunday: I Will Buy You A New Life by Everclear

Today’s song is I Will Buy You A New Life by Everclear. A little back-story, Everclear was a very popular band when I was in college and this was my favorite of their songs.

This weekend, New Guy and I, along with some friends saw them in concert at the Surf Ballroom. (For you history buffs, The Surf was the last concert venue for Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, & The Big Bopper before they were killed in a plane crash.) We had such an awesome time at the concert and it truly did feel like we were back in college again. One of the best parts was that we stood third row center stage for the encore which was when this song was played. The lead singer explained that despite what people think, this song is not about money but is in fact a love song.

Witty Words Wednesday #6

“Sometimes the one you think is your knight in shining armor actually turns out to be an idiot in aluminum foil.”

~ Anonymous


(Thank you, Kelli, for sharing this one with me!)

Cheating Husbands… and their Mistresses

Okay, I have tried to hold myself back from weighing in on this. However, with the recent admission of John Edwards that he did in fact father a child with his mistress and the headline allegations that Tiger Woods tried to cover up his affair with Rachel Uchitel (and the slew of harlots who then came out of the woodwork) by calling her on the phone the night before the story broke and having her speak to his wife, telling Elin that the whole thing was a lie, I can no longer refrain…

First of all, SHAME ON THESE MEN (and all other men and women) who have cheated on their spouses! Marriage is about a commitment that you have made to another person and, even if you take all religious connotations out of it, there is no excuse for being unfaithful. If you are truly that unhappy with your relationship then TALK to your spouse.

Second, if you are in fact a no-good-cheater, for goodness sakes at least be honest about it. I HATE lies, which even my six and seven year old students can attest to; lying only makes the situation worse. There is no such thing as lying to try and ease the situation nor does it help to tweak your lies as a way of lessening someone else’s pain. (Trust me, this is what Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex did and it actually just hurt me more… it was just a kiss with so-and-so; okay it wasn’t her it was what’s her name and we did sleep together, but it was just once; well actually it was more than once, it’s been on-going.) So you made a mistake and you got caught with your pants down, just ADMIT IT from the get go.

To the mistresses… On what planet do you live that you think it is somehow acceptable to sleep with another woman’s husband? Look at both John Edwards and Tiger Woods ~ it’s not a secret that either of the two were married; in fact, both had fairly publicized marriages. So I ask you, what kind of a woman sleeps with a married man? (I think we all know the answer to that one.) There is NOTHING you can say to justify your actions, not: well their marriage was unhappy; his wife just doesn’t understand him; or he made the choice, I just went with it – I was doing nothing wrong. Face the fact: YOU are just as much to blame. And yes, despite what you may think, you DO owe the wife an apology.

Finally, to Elizabeth and Elin and every other woman (and man), famous or not, who has been cheated on: you are strong and beautiful and your husband (or wife) was a fool. Pray for strength and clarity and do what is best for YOU, regardless of what others think of your decisions. You have to decide if you want to stay and try and repair the damage or if you want to kick your spouse to the curb – no one can judge your decisions until they have walked with you.

Pandora Bracelet

As a little girl I loved charm bracelets, so you can imagine how enthralled I have been with the Pandora bracelet line since it came out a few years ago. The really cool thing about Pandora is that for each milestone in life (big or small), you can add a new charm or bead. Anyway, right before Christmas I decided that I was going to buy myself one; I was about to turn 30, was starting over in my life, and I just thought I needed some self-pampering. So, imagine my surprise and excitement when I received a Pandora bracelet from one of my students for Christmas! Along with the bracelet itself, she and her family also gave me a frog charm (representing the frog theme in my classroom – I think of it as my “teacher charm”.)

For my birthday, I got several more beads and charms as well…

From New Guy:
A silver ghost charm ~ we met at a Halloween party
A yellow & red bead ~ the colors of the college we both graduated from
A silver rabbit charm ~ a sort of inside joke (don’t you hate it when people say stuff like that and you don’t know what they are talking about... I can't stand it, lol!)

From two of my first graders:
A pink bead with green dots
A silver charm that looks like cobble stone walk way (ironically, this one is called “journey” and is one I had planned to buy as a representation of my theory on life)

From Me to Myself (doesn’t everyone buy birthday gifts for themselves?):
Three green beads, each with a different design ~ one for each decade of my life (green is my favorite color)
A blue & white bead ~ the colors of the college where I got my masters
A red bead with pink hearts ~ representing my heart being open to new love (yes, I really am that cheesy!)
Two silver clips with squiggles on them (these just keep your charms/beads from sliding all over)

Needless to say, Guys, if you are looking for a romantic and simple gift to give your girlfriend/wife for Valentine’s Day, this would be a good one that you could keep adding to for years to come!

Sassy Song Sunday: Fearless by Taylor Swift

In reference to my Witty Words Wednesday post last week, today’s song is Fearles by Taylor Swift.

The Jareds

In college I went on several first dates with a slew of guys who had the same first name. For the purpose of this post, we’ll say that name was “Jared”. In order for my friends and me to keep track of which “Jared” we were referring to in conversation, we gave them nicknames…

“Tree Jared” (he was a forestry major and on our date he told me about all the different types of woods in the restaurant… “This table is made of walnut. That bench is made of oak.”)

“Dauber Jared” (he looked a lot like Dauber from the TV show Coach.)

“50s Jared” (he paid for dinner and then totally freaked out – as in actually made a large and embarrassing scene, when I insisted on paying for the movie.)

“Bad Teeth Jared” (pretty obvious where this one came from.)

The fact that all of these guys had the same first name was made even more comical by the fact my high school boyfriend also had the same first name (we called him “Original Jared”.) For the longest time I thought I must be destined to end up with a guy named Jared, for the simple reason that those seemed to be the only ones I crossed paths with. Then, however, I met Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex, and my streak of Jareds ended… or so I thought. I tell you this story, dear readers, because New Guy is also a Jared!

One Week

It's been one week since my 30th birthday. Remember when I posted asking advice about what I should do BEFORE the big day? Well, I didn't do any of those things, darn! But then I got to thinking, rather than doing just one awesome thing for my 3oth birthday, why not do several memorable things throughout my 30th year of life? So, I am going to start a list of things I want to do before now and January 14, 2011…

* I want to ride in a hot air balloon. I have always wanted to do this, but am not really sure how you go about it. Does anyone know?

* I want to do some traveling. I used to love traveling. Growing up we went on vacation every summer but, Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex didn’t like traveling which is why we only went on two vacations in nine years (and one was for a wedding). I have been to nearly ever state east of Iowa, but the furthest west I have been is Nebraska. So, I think it’s time to head west!

* I want to get healthier ~ better eating and exercising habits, that sort of thing (not exactly an “awesome” thing, but still an important one!)


That’s all I can think of for now, but as I think of others I will post them.

Sassy Song Sunday: My Next Thirty Years by Tim McGraw

Today’s song is My Next Thirty Years by Tim McGraw. I can relate to a great many of the lyrics in this one; here are a few of my favorites:

My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more…


My next thirty years will be the best years of my life…


Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years…

The Dawn of a New Decade

I woke up this morning to the day of a new decade! I thought it would be bad, but it was actually one of my best birthdays yet. Here are some of the highlights of the day:

1) Not only did my class of pajama day, but to my surprise my coworkers and their students dressed in PJ’s for my big day too. What a fun!

2) My students gave me several cards, gifts, and birthday hugs throughout the day. We celebrated my big day with cake and ice cream too!

3) My friend, Julie, and I went out for dinner – Mexican food & margaritas ~ yum! Plus, she made me the BEST cheesecake and gave me a really cool gift… this awesome martini shaker…





4) I got flowers! I LOVE flowers and can count on one hand the number of times I have received them in the past ten years!




Flowers from my mama




Flowers from New Guy

Witty Words Wednesday #5

“Fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid... fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts - lots of them. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before.”

~ Taylor Swift

The Beginning

I had forgotten how exhilarating new relationships are, particularly in the beginning. In the beginning you think about the person constantly and are over the moon to see them. When you’re together you are giddy – smiling, laughing, holding hands. In the beginning you can talk for hours about nothing and everything all at the same time. In the beginning you get lost in each others kiss. While more seasoned relationships certainly do have their perks as well, in my book you truly cannot beat the beginning. I tell you this, dear readers, as my way to reveal that which I have been concealing; that which I have not been boldly blogging about… I met someone.

“New Guy” and I met a few months ago through mutual friends and have been in regular contact (phone calls, texts, dates) since. He is one of those hard-to-find truly nice guys. He is smart, funny, generous, and cute! He likes kids, values his own family, and makes me feel beautiful, special, and appreciated. What else could a girl ask for? I feel blessed that he was brought into my life, even though it was in a rather random and spontaneous way. I look forward to seeing where the journey (which I have relinquished control over) goes!



Side Note
I realize that some of you, particularly those who know me personally and had no idea about this news, are probably a little slack-jawed. Please don’t be offended that I didn’t tell you. Honestly, I told very few people and I didn’t write about it here because I didn’t know what others would think. However, I refuse to live my life in secret as if I have done something wrong, because I have not. I look at it like this… I was 100% committed to my marriage, even after Soon To Be Mr. Ex had an extramarital affair. I never once waivered in my commitment to him or our vows until the day he told me he wanted a divorce. I did nothing wrong and I have nothing to feel bad about either morally or legally; I am moving on with my life!

Sassy Song Sunday: Pray For You by Jaron And the Long Road to Love

Today’s song, Pray For You by Jaron And the Long Road to Love, was a new one for me. My brother introduced me to it on Christmas Day. It’s not nice, but oh well, it’s a fun one ~ just might be a new favorite! Yay for blogging boldly!!!

Blogging Boldly

This summer, before I started my blog, I became an avid blog reader. One blog I read every day is MckMama’s. Recently she wrote about bold blogging, which really got me thinking. Do I blog boldly? At times, sure I do… in the past I have poured out my heart about Soon-To-Be-Mr. Ex, his affair, our crumbling marriage, and my feelings about the whole things. (At times I was probably even a little too bold, lol!) However I’ve noticed, now that I am in this new phase - truly beginning to reassemble my life - I am censoring myself more. Why am I doing this? Well, honestly it is due in part to what I thought others might think. Pretty crazy, huh?

MckMama has encouraged her readers to blog boldly, live boldly, work boldly, love boldly – do whatever it is that we do boldly. So, that is what I am going to do. I am going take the advice of Eleanor Roosevelt and do this, which scares me, because the “small town girl” inside of me hates when people think badly of her. (Yes, I’ll admit it… I am one of those people who can’t stand it when people don’t like her, even if it’s people that she does not like.)

If I am going to be true to myself and honestly chronicle the journey that I have found myself on, I am going to do it all out! So I guess what I’m saying, dear readers, is that this is your warning… from here on out I’m blogging boldly!

Witty Words Wednesday #4

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I Stand Corrected

Well, well… just when I thought romanticism had died long ago along with chivalry, I was proven wrong (yay!!!). I adore the engagement story of Anonymous (kudos to her hubby) and my friend Miranda posted this on her Facebook page…

Best Marriage Proposals 2009

What a Girl Wants

Awhile back my friend Julie and I watched the movie Bride Wars, which lead to a conversation about weddings. Neither of us knew each other when we got married, so of course we started talking about our own weddings - dresses, flowers, cakes, etc. From this discussion we concluded two things:

First, every girl wants a great engagement story – one that is a total surprise which she can tell her family, friends, and coworkers about for years to come. However, very few individuals get one. Think about it – how many women do you know that actually have a romantic, movie-quality proposal? Neither of us could think of anyone. We concluded that no one actually has one and it’s the fault of the movie industry that every girl feels disappointed by this. (If you have one, please share it so that my faith in romanticism can be restored in 2010, lol!)

The second thing that Julie and I concluded was that, although girls want to be surprised by the proposal, they also want the perfect rock. Therefore, every girl needs a “Ring Friend”. The Ring Friend would be someone who knows the exact engagement ring that you want and this friend would be able to articulate this to said guy. That way, every girl would get the ring that she actually wanted (rather than the one that she ends up loving only because the guy picked it out himself, even though it’s not actually what she would have picked) and she would also get the surprise proposal ~ best of both worlds!

I realize that many of my readers are female, so ladies make these facts known to your sons, brothers, cousins, and single guy friends… And to my few male follows, heed these words of wisdom (and for Pete Sakes, get down on one knee)!

Sassy Song Sunday: It Happens by Sugarland

Continuing with my theme of 2010 - simply letting life happen, today’s song is It Happens by Sugarland. (When I sing it I like to really emphasize the “sh” that is sung before the “it happens” – although, in this particular version you really have to listen for it.)

A New Year without Resolutions

Wow, 2010 is here; remembering all the hype going into the year 2000, it’s hard to believe that it was 10 years ago now! I am usually one to make New Years resolutions; however, this year “New Me” is not going to make a single one. (Crazy, I know!) I have decided to throw caution to the wind and just let life happen and see where the journey takes me (albeit, that is a little scary for me – moving down the road without a five-year-plan). One thing I can say with total certainty is that I am thrilled that 2009 is behind me and I look forward to seeing what 2010 brings. Happy New Year!