It’s funny how once you are married your life truly does become entwined with that of your spouse. They are so much more than just your lover; they are your confidant and your best friend. They are the person you want to spend your time with, the person whom you want to tell the funny stories as well as the insignificant happenings of your day. I think this is the hardest thing for me; I miss my best friend! I feel lonely without him in more ways than I can express, not because I think I am someone who must have a man in my life to be happy, but because I no longer have my best friend. I long for this. Our lives were, and any many ways are, so entwined. Our names go together as a pair; generally in social situations people don’t get one of us without the other. All my memories of the past seven years (and many from the two years prior when we were dating and engaged) involve him. The majority of my actions over the past seven years, from the smallest things (such as picking up his favorite pop at the grocery store) to large things (such as deciding how to landscape our house) involve me thinking about him and his wants and needs, as well as my own. Truly once you are married you are linked to the person – things are no longer about just you but rather the two of you. I have forgotten who I was before him and I am not sure how to move on without him in my life.
Perhaps I am naïve, but I am not ready to give up. I am still trying and I pray that he will come to his senses and realize that you don’t just throw away a marriage without trying to work out the problems, particularly when you have never before discussed said problems with your spouse. I can’t tell you the number of couples I have talked to over the past several weeks who have been married anywhere between 15 and 50 years who have said to me things like “oh we could have gotten divorced plenty of times, but we were committed to trying to work things out and we did”. Life is not all roses and sunshine and happy pictures on the wall. There are plenty of bad/sad/unhappy times in between; however, you work through them and that’s what makes the happy pictures on the wall so much more meaningful!
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I have a saying in my bedroom that says "Journey" at the top and underneath of that it says, "The bend in the road is not the end in the road, unless you refuse to take the turn." You have chosen to take that turn and I pray that, if it is God's will, your husband will decide to show the compassion and committment that you have shown. You deserve nothing short of that. You should be cherished! I cannot predict what his future holds and what his decisions will be. I can tell you that God's true love is overwhelming. Another saying I have is, "True love is neither physical nor romantic. It is an exceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be." I hope your husband realizes that true love is not always about passion and butterflies but about a committment. While I hope that your husband comes to this realization, I know that this saying depicts God's love for us also. He accepts us just as we are...flaws and all...and loves us unconditionally. He simply wants that love back from us. You are so very loved by so many, sweet darling!
ReplyDeleteAll my love and always here,
M
you can stand under my umbrella!
M,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind and uplifting words. I love the quotes and I completely agree that true love is not always about passion and butterflies but about a commitment. Wow!