Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Silence Ensues
My husband barley speaks to me. Granted, I don’t want to hear about his evening with her; however, I would like him to at least be cordial. He no longer initiates communication, and in fact, acts as if he is in pain responding to my “hello” and “good morning”, if he even responds at all. It’s funny how I used to be annoyed with his “nothing has changed” attitude and now I am equally annoyed with this. Maybe I am just annoyed with HIM! I would like to think that he is beginning to regret the decisions he made and that explains his sudden coldness, but in truth it is more likely due to the fact that he knows the loathing I have for silent treatment and he’s trying to get under my skin.
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I am sure he's trying to stay under your skin!
ReplyDeleteFrom what I can tell by your past blogs, it sounds like he doesn't want to be in the house any more than you want him there. Maybe he truly has nothing to say. Why do you even want to talk to him?
ReplyDeleteI think he doesn't want things to be cordial....he wants them to go away. Though he initiated the situation you find yourselves in, that doesn't mean he doesn't have to deal with the realities it has created for him as well as you, and now he doesn't have you to share the difficult parts with, though he'd probably still like to, but can't allow that. Not that you should feel badly for him, not at all. He should have to feel every ounce of pain and fear that pokes him, but it is easy to think that because he, in effect, "caused" the problem, that he doesn't have issues, regrets, fears etc. He wants to protect himself from those feelings and ignoring you is the easiest way to do that. For the most part, this is about him thinking he needs to make a big change in his life...the 7 year itch thing....unfortunately, he saw her as the change he needed....the job, the home, all those things revolve around finances and that's too scary for a man to deal with. Money is so ugly, but such an integral part of every single thing we do and deal with. Being polite is a good thing under your circumstances, I think, but being friends or friendly at this stage may just be too tough.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn’t necessarily say I “want” to speak to him; I just don’t want awkward silence. Imagine that you have a roommate whom you try to avoid as much as possible, but you still run into them from time to time. Rather than staring at each other and trying to step out of their way, wouldn’t you prefer a nod or a simple “hello”?
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