I have to give a shout-out to the super, wonderful, incredibly awesome guidance counselor at my school. She rarely gets the credit that she deserves, but she TOTALLY ROCKS!!!! She talked to me on the phone today when I was at a pretty low point (I have realized that mornings are my worst). She listened and provided amazing insight. Before we hung up she left me with three things I needed to do:
1) Think about the hats that I wear.
Yes, I am a wife but that is only one hat. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a neighbor, a teacher, as well as many other things. It's okay to take off my "wife hat" for awhile and put one of the other hats on. I need to take care of myself (my core), which includes eating and sleeping - two things I haven't been doing well. I can't sit around all day and think about this situation because it's going to make me nuts (more so than I am at this moment - LOL). I keep saying I don't know how to function, but of course I don't because I am letting this situation consume me. Yes, it is a priority (my number one) but I can choose to focus on other things some too and that is okay - it's healthy! It's time to start putting some of my other hats back on.
2) Utilize relaxation techniques.
Allow myself one hour a day to get mad and yell and throw things if I need to or just sit and cry and think about all of this that is going on. Then , after an hour, be done with it. I can't wallow in this or it will eat me up. After that hour I need to find a way to relax - exercise, read, shop, etc. - whatever works, but just relax.
3) Give and receive space.
Yes, he and I need to talk about what has happened - but it can't be every minute we are together because that could have the opposite effect and actually push us further apart. Set a time to talk about this and when that time is up, put it to rest for the day. In conjunction with this, I need to find time to give to myself; I must love myself. Appreciate and love the great person that I am! (And I did this today, sort of... believe it or not, I went to Starbucks!!! Who knew that a hot soy caramel macchiato could have such power!?!?!)
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Good for you! You deserve it. Keep taking care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteYay for awesome guidance counselors! She's definitely an awesome lady - just like you!
ReplyDeleteI hope you do take care of yourself. I don't want to imagine what you're going through because it must be so horribly painful.
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know I lifted you up in prayer today.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm a fan of space. In my 20's I learned so much about boundaries and it was like someone switched a light on in my life.
May God abundantly bless your today and tomorrows,
~ Wendy
I read your whole story, and I must say what PROFOUND strength you have...even though you must feel so weak. You are in my prayers as you go through each new day. And I AM praying that you find your way back to each other. ~ Beth
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about this, and saying a prayer for you.
ReplyDeleteThat is great advice :). Kudos to you for taking it, too, and giving yourself permission to take care of yourself. We're all praying for you and your family!
ReplyDeleteI just want you to know that I have been praying lots and I am grateful that you chose to include me on this painful, exhausting, and unfair journey that you are on. I KNOW that the Lord will provide all that you need and will give you hugs from others on my behalf. Keep up the great work with the counselor and keep on sharing so we can give God glory for His healing power.
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