Witty Words Wednesday #3

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

~ Woody Allen

Meet Wilda

On the advice of an ever faithful reader, Lesli, (who incidentally brought a smile to my tear stricken face more times than I can count in the "early days") I decided to do a bit of updating to the blog. I have a new blog description, a new "about me", and even a new name - Wilda, which was the brainchild of another faithful reader, Blm Mom #2. So, what do you think of the changes?

UPDATE
Question: "Where does the name 'Wilda' come from?"

Answer: Hmmm, well I didn't come up with it but I guess I was thinking that "Wilda" comes from Bewildered, as in the middle... WILD with an “a” at the end rather than an “er”. Blm Mom #2, am I correct?

Life Is About the Journey ~ 100th post!!

It’s hard to believe that this is my one hundredth post. When I started this blog it was to be my place of solace – a place to express my feelings, vent my frustrations, and plead for prayer in hopes that divine intervention would save my marriage. While it certainly was all of those things, it ended up being so much more. I truly believe this blog is what saved me from loosing my mind – it was the counselor that I didn’t go to and the comments written by all of you were the healing words that helped to mend my heart. What I didn’t realize at the time that I started this blog, which I now truly do understand, is that this is what was supposed to happen in my life. When all of you were lifting me up in prayer, God was healing me and helping me to better trust His plan for my life, which had nothing to do with saving my marriage. For quite some time “planner me” had a difficult time accepting this, but once I did I gained greater clarity than I could have ever hoped for.

I have just spent the last several hours rereading every single post and each and every comment ~ what a journey it has been! I truly feel that I am at a place where I could stop blogging and be okay, since my purpose for writing no longer exists. However, knowing that each and every day there are people who find themselves in the situation I was in on the day this blog began, I feel called to continue. Life may never be exactly what we expect of it, but that’s why it truly is a journey. While I still invite all of you join me as I put the shards of my once broken life back together, I know that “back together” will look nothing like it did before the explosion, nor would I hope for it to. My blog is no longer about putting a broken marriage back together, but rather forging ahead. It’s about me and my new life - nearly 30, nearly divorced, and nearly okay!

Sassy Song Sunday: Best Days of Your Life by Kellie Pickler

With two family Christmases down and one more today, Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex has come up several times in conversation. Regardless of which side of the family I was with, the overwhelming sentiment expressed by my relatives seems to be the same… Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex will regret his decision one day. With that thought in mind, I give you today’s sassy song - Best Days of Your Life by Kellie Pickler.

Flashback

Due to “peer pressure” from a few of my coworkers I just started reading the book Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. As shocking as it may sound (and yes, my three high school age cousins were shocked), I have never seen the movie nor did I ever have a desire to. I am only on page 40, so I can’t really give a review at this point, only to say that it is defiantly getting me into teenage girl mindset. As I sit here on my parents couch, Twilight on my lap, I feel as though I am having a flashback to the late 90’s. I took several creative writing courses in high school and used to write a lot of poetry, part of my teenage angst I suppose. I no longer have copies of the poems and honestly remember very few; however, there are some that stuck with me. For your reading pleasure, a flashback into my teenage girl mind:


Prince of Shattered Hearts

You’re the player of all players.
You’re the prince of shattered hearts.
You’re the god who crushes all the girls,
I knew it from the start.
I went ahead and fell for you,
Although I don’t know why.
I guess it must have been the sweet way
That you spoke the lie.
So now I sit here all alone,
Feeling oh so blue.
And you’re out with another girl,
And soon you’ll play her too.
But I think you better wakeup,
Cause soon your gonna find.
A girl who acts the same as you,
And likes to mess with minds.
This girl, she’s gonna knock you down,
And me, I’m gonna smirk.
Cause then you’ll know just how it feels
To have fallen for a jerk.

Where I'm Supposed To Be

I am a horrible gift wrapper, so often times I will use gift bags. Last night I was putting something into a gift bag that I was reusing from last year and the tag said: from Bewildered & Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex. I started at it for a moment, struck by the fact that a person can be in your life one minute and then gone in the next. Then I quickly ripped off the tag and threw it away. It’s kind of odd because I expected to feel sad at Christmas, but here I sit on Christmas Eve morning and I don’t feel sad at all. Oddly enough, I even feel a little joyful. I don’t believe in coincidences – God has everything planned for us. This is exactly what was supposed to happen and I am exactly where He wants me to be. How can I be sad about that?

Breaking the News

I decided last week that it was time to tell the parents of my students that I was getting a divorce. They had known something was going on, based on the number of absences I had when I first found out of Soon To Be Mr. Ex’s transgressions and many had asked if I was okay. At the time I simply said that I was fine and to please respect my privacy; I told them that in time I would let them know what was going on. Here is what I wrote in my final classroom newsletter of 2009…

In late August I learned that my husband of seven years had been having an on-going relationship with a female coworker. Despite my desire for reconciliation, rooted firmly in a strong faith in God and His plan, we were unable to save our marriage and in mid September filed for divorce. While I had hoped for a speedy resolution which would have made our dissolution final prior to the first of the year, this has not been the case.

Thank you so much for all your prayers over the past several months, particularly when you had no idea what was actually going on. Please continue to pray. With no family in the area, your children have truly been a source of comfort and joy to me during this trying time. This is not something I have discussed with the students, I will leave it up to you what (if anything) you would like to tell them.