“Sometimes God uses the pruning sheers, and sometimes He uses the chainsaw… I guess I needed the chainsaw this time.”
~ Anonymous
(Thanks, Paparazzimom, for sharing this!)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Tears of an Unknown Origin
Today I had a breakdown ~ my first in a very, very long time…
After school we had a baby shower for a coworker who is expecting her first child. As I sat there, watching her open her gifts, seeing our colleagues cut off pieces of string to match the size of her baby belly, and hearing that she and her hubby have chosen “my” baby name as the middle name for their new baby girl, an overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me. I actually had to get up and leave the room. I walked into my own classroom and sobbed, and the funny thing is I am not even sure why. When this ordeal began, I worried that I would never get remarried - that I would never have kids. If I still felt that way, my tears would make since; however, I honestly no longer have those worries. I am so happy about where my life is and the path that I am on and truly would hate to live out the dreams of babies and forever with Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex; yet that didn’t stop the tears from flowing. As I stood in my classroom crying, in walked my wonderful teammate (shout-out to you, Jan) who had left the shower to come check on me. As I hugged her, sobbing and babbling about how stupid I felt about crying she explained that I was going to have moments like this now that “the end” is near and that it was okay. As I think about it, I know she is right. Although I am so ready to close this chapter of my life, it’s odd to think that it will be over soon.
After school we had a baby shower for a coworker who is expecting her first child. As I sat there, watching her open her gifts, seeing our colleagues cut off pieces of string to match the size of her baby belly, and hearing that she and her hubby have chosen “my” baby name as the middle name for their new baby girl, an overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me. I actually had to get up and leave the room. I walked into my own classroom and sobbed, and the funny thing is I am not even sure why. When this ordeal began, I worried that I would never get remarried - that I would never have kids. If I still felt that way, my tears would make since; however, I honestly no longer have those worries. I am so happy about where my life is and the path that I am on and truly would hate to live out the dreams of babies and forever with Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex; yet that didn’t stop the tears from flowing. As I stood in my classroom crying, in walked my wonderful teammate (shout-out to you, Jan) who had left the shower to come check on me. As I hugged her, sobbing and babbling about how stupid I felt about crying she explained that I was going to have moments like this now that “the end” is near and that it was okay. As I think about it, I know she is right. Although I am so ready to close this chapter of my life, it’s odd to think that it will be over soon.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Dare I Say It?
In the state where I live there is a 90-day waiting period before couples can get a divorce. Our 90 days came and went in December. Why? Simply put, Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex and I could not agree on a settlement. The result of this was we were given a trial date of June. If we were able to settle before then we would, otherwise our divorce would go to trial and the settlement would be determined by a judge. Neither of us had a desire to drag thing out until June, yet we were unable to come to an agreement despite the number of times we tried to work things out. Tonight, however, we made a lot of progress and have come to a tentative settlement, which we typed up. We are both calling our attorneys tomorrow. Dare I say it? Is it possible that the official finality to our marriage is finally on the horizon? Hmmm… is it wrong to have a personal goal of being officially divorced by Valentine’s Day?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sassy Song Sunday: I Will Buy You A New Life by Everclear
Today’s song is I Will Buy You A New Life by Everclear. A little back-story, Everclear was a very popular band when I was in college and this was my favorite of their songs.
This weekend, New Guy and I, along with some friends saw them in concert at the Surf Ballroom. (For you history buffs, The Surf was the last concert venue for Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, & The Big Bopper before they were killed in a plane crash.) We had such an awesome time at the concert and it truly did feel like we were back in college again. One of the best parts was that we stood third row center stage for the encore which was when this song was played. The lead singer explained that despite what people think, this song is not about money but is in fact a love song.
This weekend, New Guy and I, along with some friends saw them in concert at the Surf Ballroom. (For you history buffs, The Surf was the last concert venue for Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, & The Big Bopper before they were killed in a plane crash.) We had such an awesome time at the concert and it truly did feel like we were back in college again. One of the best parts was that we stood third row center stage for the encore which was when this song was played. The lead singer explained that despite what people think, this song is not about money but is in fact a love song.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Witty Words Wednesday #6
“Sometimes the one you think is your knight in shining armor actually turns out to be an idiot in aluminum foil.”
~ Anonymous
(Thank you, Kelli, for sharing this one with me!)
~ Anonymous
(Thank you, Kelli, for sharing this one with me!)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Cheating Husbands… and their Mistresses
Okay, I have tried to hold myself back from weighing in on this. However, with the recent admission of John Edwards that he did in fact father a child with his mistress and the headline allegations that Tiger Woods tried to cover up his affair with Rachel Uchitel (and the slew of harlots who then came out of the woodwork) by calling her on the phone the night before the story broke and having her speak to his wife, telling Elin that the whole thing was a lie, I can no longer refrain…
First of all, SHAME ON THESE MEN (and all other men and women) who have cheated on their spouses! Marriage is about a commitment that you have made to another person and, even if you take all religious connotations out of it, there is no excuse for being unfaithful. If you are truly that unhappy with your relationship then TALK to your spouse.
Second, if you are in fact a no-good-cheater, for goodness sakes at least be honest about it. I HATE lies, which even my six and seven year old students can attest to; lying only makes the situation worse. There is no such thing as lying to try and ease the situation nor does it help to tweak your lies as a way of lessening someone else’s pain. (Trust me, this is what Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex did and it actually just hurt me more… it was just a kiss with so-and-so; okay it wasn’t her it was what’s her name and we did sleep together, but it was just once; well actually it was more than once, it’s been on-going.) So you made a mistake and you got caught with your pants down, just ADMIT IT from the get go.
To the mistresses… On what planet do you live that you think it is somehow acceptable to sleep with another woman’s husband? Look at both John Edwards and Tiger Woods ~ it’s not a secret that either of the two were married; in fact, both had fairly publicized marriages. So I ask you, what kind of a woman sleeps with a married man? (I think we all know the answer to that one.) There is NOTHING you can say to justify your actions, not: well their marriage was unhappy; his wife just doesn’t understand him; or he made the choice, I just went with it – I was doing nothing wrong. Face the fact: YOU are just as much to blame. And yes, despite what you may think, you DO owe the wife an apology.
Finally, to Elizabeth and Elin and every other woman (and man), famous or not, who has been cheated on: you are strong and beautiful and your husband (or wife) was a fool. Pray for strength and clarity and do what is best for YOU, regardless of what others think of your decisions. You have to decide if you want to stay and try and repair the damage or if you want to kick your spouse to the curb – no one can judge your decisions until they have walked with you.
First of all, SHAME ON THESE MEN (and all other men and women) who have cheated on their spouses! Marriage is about a commitment that you have made to another person and, even if you take all religious connotations out of it, there is no excuse for being unfaithful. If you are truly that unhappy with your relationship then TALK to your spouse.
Second, if you are in fact a no-good-cheater, for goodness sakes at least be honest about it. I HATE lies, which even my six and seven year old students can attest to; lying only makes the situation worse. There is no such thing as lying to try and ease the situation nor does it help to tweak your lies as a way of lessening someone else’s pain. (Trust me, this is what Soon-To-Be Mr. Ex did and it actually just hurt me more… it was just a kiss with so-and-so; okay it wasn’t her it was what’s her name and we did sleep together, but it was just once; well actually it was more than once, it’s been on-going.) So you made a mistake and you got caught with your pants down, just ADMIT IT from the get go.
To the mistresses… On what planet do you live that you think it is somehow acceptable to sleep with another woman’s husband? Look at both John Edwards and Tiger Woods ~ it’s not a secret that either of the two were married; in fact, both had fairly publicized marriages. So I ask you, what kind of a woman sleeps with a married man? (I think we all know the answer to that one.) There is NOTHING you can say to justify your actions, not: well their marriage was unhappy; his wife just doesn’t understand him; or he made the choice, I just went with it – I was doing nothing wrong. Face the fact: YOU are just as much to blame. And yes, despite what you may think, you DO owe the wife an apology.
Finally, to Elizabeth and Elin and every other woman (and man), famous or not, who has been cheated on: you are strong and beautiful and your husband (or wife) was a fool. Pray for strength and clarity and do what is best for YOU, regardless of what others think of your decisions. You have to decide if you want to stay and try and repair the damage or if you want to kick your spouse to the curb – no one can judge your decisions until they have walked with you.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Pandora Bracelet
As a little girl I loved charm bracelets, so you can imagine how enthralled I have been with the Pandora bracelet line since it came out a few years ago. The really cool thing about Pandora is that for each milestone in life (big or small), you can add a new charm or bead. Anyway, right before Christmas I decided that I was going to buy myself one; I was about to turn 30, was starting over in my life, and I just thought I needed some self-pampering. So, imagine my surprise and excitement when I received a Pandora bracelet from one of my students for Christmas! Along with the bracelet itself, she and her family also gave me a frog charm (representing the frog theme in my classroom – I think of it as my “teacher charm”.)
For my birthday, I got several more beads and charms as well…
From New Guy:
A silver ghost charm ~ we met at a Halloween party
A yellow & red bead ~ the colors of the college we both graduated from
A silver rabbit charm ~ a sort of inside joke (don’t you hate it when people say stuff like that and you don’t know what they are talking about... I can't stand it, lol!)
From two of my first graders:
A pink bead with green dots
A silver charm that looks like cobble stone walk way (ironically, this one is called “journey” and is one I had planned to buy as a representation of my theory on life)
From Me to Myself (doesn’t everyone buy birthday gifts for themselves?):
Three green beads, each with a different design ~ one for each decade of my life (green is my favorite color)
A blue & white bead ~ the colors of the college where I got my masters
A red bead with pink hearts ~ representing my heart being open to new love (yes, I really am that cheesy!)
Two silver clips with squiggles on them (these just keep your charms/beads from sliding all over)
Needless to say, Guys, if you are looking for a romantic and simple gift to give your girlfriend/wife for Valentine’s Day, this would be a good one that you could keep adding to for years to come!
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